Good Copypasta!

[Patrick]

Ok, so I got fired from my job today and I thought I would share the story with you.

I work at Wawa. Well, I worked at Wawa. I was a cashier and I fucking hated my job. Every morning it was uptight old faggots buying coffee and donuts and every evening it was faggoty young faggots buying Rockstar energy drinks. So today I was incredibly bored and was passing the time by trying to replay the movie "300" in my head. I was just getting to the part where Leonidas says "This is Sparta" when this faggot in a bluetooth headset and his 300lb, 6-7 year old daughter. The faggot was literally yelling into his headset in ALL FUCKING CAPS BECAUSE APPARENTLY THE SIGNAL WASN'T SO GREAT. Then his goddamn mistake started pulling out all the chips and throwing them all over the floor.

So I tried to ask the man if he would kindly tell his kid to stop being such a cunt.

"Sir, could y-" was all I could say before he put his finger in my face in a "just a second" gesture.

"Choose your next words carefully, said the Persian messenger in my head.

"YEAH WE'RE ON OUR WAY," he said while putting the hotdogs he was buying on the counter, both COVERED in every condiment we carried, "WE JUST STOPPED AT FASTMART TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT. YEAH OK. BYE." And he hung up.

He looked at me and I looked at him, his whale of a daughter back from fucking up my chip rack.

 

[Patrick]

"Fastmart?" I whispered. My heart was pounding. I knew what was coming but I couldn't stop it.

THIS - IS - WAWA!!!!1!oneoneone

I picked up the condiment drenched hotdog and threw it as hard as i could at the guy. The guy was shocked but he had no idea what the fuck to do. So, as an instinct, he tried to deflect the meat away from his face but when he hit my arm, he swung from his right to his left. His daughter, who was admiring her work on the floor, looked up just in time to see what she thought was her father throwing a hotdog covered in ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise and relish right into her eyes.

She instantly started to cry and, in a fit of rage, attack her father whom she thought had just assaulted her with what was supposed to be her lunch.

The man was still in shock half saying "What the fuck, you asshole." to me and "OHMIGAWD IM SO SORRY!" to his failure of a child. After a few seconds he collected himself... then fucking lost it. I have never seen someone raeg so hard in my entire life. The volume of his screams only made his daughter cry harder, making the entire situation louder.

My manager came barreling out of the break room where he was probably fapping to some lolicon.

"WHU-WHU-WHU-WHUS GOIN ON?!?!" he cried.

The customer cried a series of indefinable obscenities pointed at me and pointed at his daughter, who was covered in mustard.

My manager took one look at the girl, who was now trying to salvage what was left of the hotdogs, and told me to, and I quote, "GET OUT OF MY CUNTING STORE." I walked out laughing my fucking ass off, hearing the sobs of the kid and a wave of "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."

 

[Patrick]

the above was copypasta and may/may not be true.

 

[Dave]

What the fuck is a WaWa?

 

[Patrick]

apparently something like a gas station in new jersey idk, like a generic kwik e mart

 

[Joe]

Someeeeeehow I doubt the validity of this story

You see, store peons never gather up the courage to do what they'd like to their asshole customers

Ever