- Sep 13, 2007
- 467
I Recently watched the Movie "Balls of Fury", which was, in fact, a rather funny film, minus one problem, my friends and I were focused on a event that happened before the movie...
Peter, his cousin Josh, and myself decide to head on Over to lynnhaven Mall, to watch the movie.
We purchase our tickets then, hurry on over to the food court, to eat, before we watch the film. The Mall is packed with so many high schoolers, it being a Saturday night, and we head our separate ways.
I am not too hungry, but I went ahead and look around some of the places we could eat at. As I am strolling on down the Food Court I see a hot wing joint, and look at the variety of sauces they serve with their wings, Jerk, spicy, hot, x hot, xx hot, xxx hot, ridiculous...
"wait, Ridiculous? " I think to myself as I scroll through the list.
"that's as hot as it gets,eh?"
Te price was $6.95 or so for a 10 pack, and I figure, my friends and I should have a little fun before we watch the film. I start asking questions about the sauce and by this time Peter shows up. Let me let you know about Peter. Imagine someone who studies a bunch of useless facts, and shares them almost always at inappropriate times, loves science fiction and fantasy books, and movies, and is totally socially handicapped. This guy couldn't find enough tact to fill a soda cap, and he also loves provng his points, we get along great.
Well, as I inquired of the sauce, they told us we had to sign a waiver to eat it (bad news) and wouldn't tell us what was in it (more bad news). Peter being the persistent sonovabitch he always is, demanded to know the ingridients,
"we can't tell you"
"you have to, FDA"
"peter, just shut up, I am sure it is fine"
Peter is starting a ruckus, I am getting irritated, so eventually I cut him and the store guy off and say, "hey I want a 10 pack of Ridiculous wings"
they even lets us taste the sauce before hand.
"This sauce is bad news," I begin to think to myself.
We get our order, and as a precaution, i bought myself a cookie dough blizzard at the Dairy Queen next door.
At this time we have established some rules in eating them
The first wing must be eaten plain, that is unadultured with blue cheese, if you can beat that you can beat your set ammount
we each will get 3 wings apiece, and I will get the last one, seeing as I bought them
I might add before we did this, I had an empty stomach, which is not wise, to do before eating spicy food, yeah, i learned from this experience.
The eating commenced, we each took our 1st wing, and devoured,...
Peter and Josh immediately cough out loud, and Pdeter gets all teary eyed.
I ate through it like a champ, and waved my hand side to side in a horizontal motion to the right side of my face (my right hand jackass)
and go, "pfwew, that is pretty hot". I then commence on wing 2, with some blue cheese, in the mean time, the people at the store are getting a real kick out of our performance, before I devour the second I give a thumbs up to the guy behind the counter and smile. I wolf the second, while pete and josh are still coughing, and manage to smother a third one and get that one down.
About now all of us aren't having too much fun, and are burning, my nose is running and is red, and tears are involuntarily forming in my eyes. I just barely get the fourth one down, ripping at the flesh on the bone, and getting it down as fast as my jittery mouth possibly could
"Done" I say to myself and immeadiately run over to the counter for some sugar in a cup to stop the excruciating burning sensation going on in my mouth.
I have managed to open the gates of hell, in my own mouth and stomach, the pain, just so unbearable, and while the guy was getting me some sugar, i rush to my blizzard and zing back to the counter for something to slow the burning down.... but it couldn't be stopped, I take the cup and violently shake my head.
and it slowly dissapates from my mouth. Mye stomach is another story all together...
Peter could only finish one, josh as well, and after my trip for the sugar, Peter rushes up tp the counter, and gets one for himself, but immeadiatly hurls all over the floor, in the Mall, in front of all of these high schoolers. Imagine a big fat guy hurling his gutts out, that would be Peter. We realize we are already 6 minutes late for the film.
So we head over to the Movie, making little mistakes like rubbing our eyes, or toughing ourselves on the John. and have a fun time.
After the film I had to take breaks between certain streatches of walking, due to stomach pains that would form from too much moving around, and I rode hom in Jashes back seat in the fetal position.
I get home swig some milk then am out cold for the night. The weekend rocks....
Peter, his cousin Josh, and myself decide to head on Over to lynnhaven Mall, to watch the movie.
We purchase our tickets then, hurry on over to the food court, to eat, before we watch the film. The Mall is packed with so many high schoolers, it being a Saturday night, and we head our separate ways.
I am not too hungry, but I went ahead and look around some of the places we could eat at. As I am strolling on down the Food Court I see a hot wing joint, and look at the variety of sauces they serve with their wings, Jerk, spicy, hot, x hot, xx hot, xxx hot, ridiculous...
"wait, Ridiculous? " I think to myself as I scroll through the list.
"that's as hot as it gets,eh?"
Te price was $6.95 or so for a 10 pack, and I figure, my friends and I should have a little fun before we watch the film. I start asking questions about the sauce and by this time Peter shows up. Let me let you know about Peter. Imagine someone who studies a bunch of useless facts, and shares them almost always at inappropriate times, loves science fiction and fantasy books, and movies, and is totally socially handicapped. This guy couldn't find enough tact to fill a soda cap, and he also loves provng his points, we get along great.
Well, as I inquired of the sauce, they told us we had to sign a waiver to eat it (bad news) and wouldn't tell us what was in it (more bad news). Peter being the persistent sonovabitch he always is, demanded to know the ingridients,
"we can't tell you"
"you have to, FDA"
"peter, just shut up, I am sure it is fine"
Peter is starting a ruckus, I am getting irritated, so eventually I cut him and the store guy off and say, "hey I want a 10 pack of Ridiculous wings"
they even lets us taste the sauce before hand.
"This sauce is bad news," I begin to think to myself.
We get our order, and as a precaution, i bought myself a cookie dough blizzard at the Dairy Queen next door.
At this time we have established some rules in eating them
The first wing must be eaten plain, that is unadultured with blue cheese, if you can beat that you can beat your set ammount
we each will get 3 wings apiece, and I will get the last one, seeing as I bought them
I might add before we did this, I had an empty stomach, which is not wise, to do before eating spicy food, yeah, i learned from this experience.
The eating commenced, we each took our 1st wing, and devoured,...
Peter and Josh immediately cough out loud, and Pdeter gets all teary eyed.
I ate through it like a champ, and waved my hand side to side in a horizontal motion to the right side of my face (my right hand jackass)
and go, "pfwew, that is pretty hot". I then commence on wing 2, with some blue cheese, in the mean time, the people at the store are getting a real kick out of our performance, before I devour the second I give a thumbs up to the guy behind the counter and smile. I wolf the second, while pete and josh are still coughing, and manage to smother a third one and get that one down.
About now all of us aren't having too much fun, and are burning, my nose is running and is red, and tears are involuntarily forming in my eyes. I just barely get the fourth one down, ripping at the flesh on the bone, and getting it down as fast as my jittery mouth possibly could
"Done" I say to myself and immeadiately run over to the counter for some sugar in a cup to stop the excruciating burning sensation going on in my mouth.
I have managed to open the gates of hell, in my own mouth and stomach, the pain, just so unbearable, and while the guy was getting me some sugar, i rush to my blizzard and zing back to the counter for something to slow the burning down.... but it couldn't be stopped, I take the cup and violently shake my head.
and it slowly dissapates from my mouth. Mye stomach is another story all together...
Peter could only finish one, josh as well, and after my trip for the sugar, Peter rushes up tp the counter, and gets one for himself, but immeadiatly hurls all over the floor, in the Mall, in front of all of these high schoolers. Imagine a big fat guy hurling his gutts out, that would be Peter. We realize we are already 6 minutes late for the film.
So we head over to the Movie, making little mistakes like rubbing our eyes, or toughing ourselves on the John. and have a fun time.
After the film I had to take breaks between certain streatches of walking, due to stomach pains that would form from too much moving around, and I rode hom in Jashes back seat in the fetal position.
I get home swig some milk then am out cold for the night. The weekend rocks....
