Joe Satriani

[Logan]

Satch, GOW360 Hero and International badass, is suing Coldplay for stealing his muzaks. This is great cause Satriani is awesome and Coldplay are a bunch of slack-jawed faggots. Satch has said that "he wants an accountant to find out how much money they owe him or he never wants to hear the song again." I hope he wins and is provided with so much money that he is crowned Emperor of Earth.

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[Tarvis]

bitch i want to be emperor

 

[Dave]

.

 

[Joe]

Oh shit I heard about this! I love 'If I could fly.' Satch ruuuuuules!

 

[Bayli]

Coldplay responded with:

With the greatest possible respect to Joe Satriani, we have now unfortunately found it necessary to respond publicly to his allegations. If there are any similarities between our two pieces of music, they are entirely coincidental, and just as surprising to us as to him. Joe Satriani is a great musician, but he did not write the song Viva La Vida. We respectfully ask him to accept our assurances of this and wish him well with all future endeavours. Coldplay.

coldplay sux

 

[Joe]

Satch always looks so happy when he's playing. He's just having the time of his life.

 

[Bayli]

"We mentioned in December that music man Joe Satriani is alleging that Coldplay's Viva La Vida is a rip off of his song I Just Wanna Fly.

Satriani asserts that the band have dodged being served his plagiarism lawsuit, but he hopes that won't be the case for much longer.

He and his lawyer are planning to fill the Grammys with servers ready to pounce on Chris Martin and his fellow band mates.

The lawyer repping Satriani says, "We have warned their British lawyers that we have hired a fleet of process servers lined up to dog the band everywhere they go this weekend in the hopes of serving them."

He even promises to have camera crews roaming around with the process servers to get the whole thing on tape."

 

[Joe]

That doesn't sound like a very mature thing to do

 

[Bronson]

Neither is stealing.

 

[Dave]

You the man, Satch!

 

[Joe]

No, but that's not gonna win him any favors or support.

 

[Bayli]

I agree that the camera crew and threat to "pounce" is a little too far, but it's pretty obvious that they stole from his song. But maybe Satriani's plan is the only way to get to Chris Martin and his gigantic ego!

 

[Joe]

I ain't saying they didn't steal, or that I like Coldplay or anything. Just saying it's a childish and not very productive way of getting what he wants.