The Random Thread
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- Nov 10, 2003
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- Nov 10, 2003
- 8,891
- Nov 10, 2003
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- #9
J**** ***** 22 August at 07:48
Hi R****,
It was great seeing you and your husband the other day! Your son looks so big! The reason I’m writing to you today is a small matter of concern, mainly your dog. I’ve seen the way he’s been looking at my Fifi and I don’t like it. I can’t afford to take care of puppies right now so please make sure he stays away from my dog.
Hope to see you soon!
J****
R**** ********* 22 August at 14:23
Hi J****,
Ranger isn’t an outside dog and only goes outside to do his business on the other side of the house from your yard. If he’s ever outside of the yard, he’s always on leash, so he shouldn’t bother your dog.
Cheers,
R****
J**** ***** 25 August at 12:42
I warned you about your dog! He raped my baby and now Fifi is pregnant! I told you I can’t afford puppies, so I expect you to cover all costs. I’ll drop the vet bills off tonight.
R**** ********* 25 August at 16:11
Hi J***,
I’m sorry to hear that your dog is pregnant. However, I will not be paying for anything. There are three reasons for this.
1) Ranger has not been out of the house in over 2 weeks due to a nasty run in with some spear grass.
2) My dog is a bichon frise. Your dog is a great dane. Ranger couldn’t even reach Fifi without a ladder and a map, so rape is an incredibly harsh accusation. Fifi would have to be very willing for that pairing.
3) And really, this is the most important note: Ranger is fixed. He’s been neutered since we got him from the pound 2 years ago. I have all of the paperwork from the initial vet visit if you wish to see it.
I hope you find the father of her puppies. If not, you could sell them and try to recoup your losses.
Good luck,
R****
At 7PM that night, J**** came over to our house to drop off the vet bills. When we reiterated the fact that Ranger is fixed, he became verbally abusive and started making threats about raping our 15 month old son to get back at us. I, of course, called the police and pressed charges. Two weeks later, I received another email from J**** on Facebook.
John ***** 12 September at 12:42
Dear R****,
I’m sorry for uttering threats against you and your family. After speaking with my lawyer, I realize that it was wrong. I’ll tell you what, if you agree to drop the charges, you’ll only have to pay for half the vet bills.
Yours Truly,
J****
J**** ***** 12 September at 16:54
I’ll drop of an invoice at your house if that will be easier.
J**** ***** 12 September at 23:56
Sorry I missed you tonight. I’ll try again tomorrow!
J**** ***** 13 September at 11:23
Are you out of town? I left the invoice in your mailbox. You can pay me as soon as you get back.
J**** ***** 13 September at 13:21
Hello? I noticed you updated your Facebook status. Does that mean you’re home?
J**** ***** 13 September at 17:44
Your no longer on my friend list. Did you delete me?
J**** ***** 13 September at 19:56
Hello?
6 days ago we got a letter from J****’s lawyer about his intent to sue. I faxed the lawyer a copy of my dog’s medical records with the date he was neutered circled. We haven’t heard from either the lawyer or J**** since.
Hi R****,
It was great seeing you and your husband the other day! Your son looks so big! The reason I’m writing to you today is a small matter of concern, mainly your dog. I’ve seen the way he’s been looking at my Fifi and I don’t like it. I can’t afford to take care of puppies right now so please make sure he stays away from my dog.
Hope to see you soon!
J****
R**** ********* 22 August at 14:23
Hi J****,
Ranger isn’t an outside dog and only goes outside to do his business on the other side of the house from your yard. If he’s ever outside of the yard, he’s always on leash, so he shouldn’t bother your dog.
Cheers,
R****
J**** ***** 25 August at 12:42
I warned you about your dog! He raped my baby and now Fifi is pregnant! I told you I can’t afford puppies, so I expect you to cover all costs. I’ll drop the vet bills off tonight.
R**** ********* 25 August at 16:11
Hi J***,
I’m sorry to hear that your dog is pregnant. However, I will not be paying for anything. There are three reasons for this.
1) Ranger has not been out of the house in over 2 weeks due to a nasty run in with some spear grass.
2) My dog is a bichon frise. Your dog is a great dane. Ranger couldn’t even reach Fifi without a ladder and a map, so rape is an incredibly harsh accusation. Fifi would have to be very willing for that pairing.
3) And really, this is the most important note: Ranger is fixed. He’s been neutered since we got him from the pound 2 years ago. I have all of the paperwork from the initial vet visit if you wish to see it.
I hope you find the father of her puppies. If not, you could sell them and try to recoup your losses.
Good luck,
R****
At 7PM that night, J**** came over to our house to drop off the vet bills. When we reiterated the fact that Ranger is fixed, he became verbally abusive and started making threats about raping our 15 month old son to get back at us. I, of course, called the police and pressed charges. Two weeks later, I received another email from J**** on Facebook.
John ***** 12 September at 12:42
Dear R****,
I’m sorry for uttering threats against you and your family. After speaking with my lawyer, I realize that it was wrong. I’ll tell you what, if you agree to drop the charges, you’ll only have to pay for half the vet bills.
Yours Truly,
J****
J**** ***** 12 September at 16:54
I’ll drop of an invoice at your house if that will be easier.
J**** ***** 12 September at 23:56
Sorry I missed you tonight. I’ll try again tomorrow!
J**** ***** 13 September at 11:23
Are you out of town? I left the invoice in your mailbox. You can pay me as soon as you get back.
J**** ***** 13 September at 13:21
Hello? I noticed you updated your Facebook status. Does that mean you’re home?
J**** ***** 13 September at 17:44
Your no longer on my friend list. Did you delete me?
J**** ***** 13 September at 19:56
Hello?
6 days ago we got a letter from J****’s lawyer about his intent to sue. I faxed the lawyer a copy of my dog’s medical records with the date he was neutered circled. We haven’t heard from either the lawyer or J**** since.
- Nov 10, 2003
- 5,129
- Moderator
- #10
I love the way Swiss cheese feels against my penis. Either as slices of Swiss cheese being wrapped around my penis or a chunk of Swiss cheese being rubbed against my penis. I love even more when a woman uses the Swiss cheese to pleasure me. Or simply wraps Swiss cheese slices around my penis and allows me to hang out with her as I wear the cheese.
So to give you a basic understanding of my Swiss cheese fetish. The simplest thing is that it’s a hand job using Swiss cheese as the tool to pleasure me, but I like to expand upon it by having you wrap Swiss cheese slices around my penis, and I wear it for a length of time, then we repeat the process, allowing me to savor your handy work. However it’s more complex then just having a girl wrap cheese around my penis.
In my younger years I developed a strong urge for sex, but not being the best looking guy out there, girls tended to ignore me. So I would fantasize about sex and masturbate, but it just was not the same. One day I just had some strange feeling, and for some unknown reason used cheese to masturbate. I started to relate girls to cheese… I tried many different types of cheese…however none could compare to Swiss.
Swiss it a perfect representative of cheese to me, if I held up a slice of Swiss cheese in front of you, that compared to any other style of cheese, I am sure you would recognize Swiss over the rest. Also the way it smells, given it’s not that bad, I use domestic, and it’s eye patterns and color, Swiss is very attractive to me. It also shares all the characteristics I see in girls. It feels smooth and silky, it’s semi soft and flexible, and it’s smell is like perfume to me.
Take all these things and add them together, and that is what I love about having a girl wrap Swiss cheese around my penis, that and the fact that it’s like having sex with you, because you control the action.
Now do I like regular sex, sure, but at the time, and I would say a good ten years before I had normal sex, this was it’s substitute. Now I am just addicted to it, like a smoker is addicted to cigarettes. It’s like a drug, that I simple can’t get enough of. Everything leading up to asking a girl, to having it done is the high, then once I cum, is the low, but the low satisfaction is short lived. That is why I like to have girls wrap cheese around me, and allow me to wear it and hang out with them, it extends the high I get from the cheese being on my penis. I would much rather know a couple girls and have them do it to me as much as possible, I simple can’t get enough. Do you understand? And would be willing to help me with my addiction?”
So to give you a basic understanding of my Swiss cheese fetish. The simplest thing is that it’s a hand job using Swiss cheese as the tool to pleasure me, but I like to expand upon it by having you wrap Swiss cheese slices around my penis, and I wear it for a length of time, then we repeat the process, allowing me to savor your handy work. However it’s more complex then just having a girl wrap cheese around my penis.
In my younger years I developed a strong urge for sex, but not being the best looking guy out there, girls tended to ignore me. So I would fantasize about sex and masturbate, but it just was not the same. One day I just had some strange feeling, and for some unknown reason used cheese to masturbate. I started to relate girls to cheese… I tried many different types of cheese…however none could compare to Swiss.
Swiss it a perfect representative of cheese to me, if I held up a slice of Swiss cheese in front of you, that compared to any other style of cheese, I am sure you would recognize Swiss over the rest. Also the way it smells, given it’s not that bad, I use domestic, and it’s eye patterns and color, Swiss is very attractive to me. It also shares all the characteristics I see in girls. It feels smooth and silky, it’s semi soft and flexible, and it’s smell is like perfume to me.
Take all these things and add them together, and that is what I love about having a girl wrap Swiss cheese around my penis, that and the fact that it’s like having sex with you, because you control the action.
Now do I like regular sex, sure, but at the time, and I would say a good ten years before I had normal sex, this was it’s substitute. Now I am just addicted to it, like a smoker is addicted to cigarettes. It’s like a drug, that I simple can’t get enough of. Everything leading up to asking a girl, to having it done is the high, then once I cum, is the low, but the low satisfaction is short lived. That is why I like to have girls wrap cheese around me, and allow me to wear it and hang out with them, it extends the high I get from the cheese being on my penis. I would much rather know a couple girls and have them do it to me as much as possible, I simple can’t get enough. Do you understand? And would be willing to help me with my addiction?”
- Nov 10, 2003
- 5,129
- Moderator
- #11
4th September 2009
To whom it may concern,
I am writing to ask whether your company would be interested in an idea for a book which I had recently. The theme of the book would be similar to the challenge/travel adventures of authors like Dave Gorman. The idea came to me during a recent visit to the doctor’s in which I asked if I should take off my pants to show the doctor the rash on my leg. She asked if she could see without, I said yes, to which she said “In that case, no”. But doctors have to see anything you show them, and so my idea is to see how many people I can get to see my penis without getting arrested.
As I said, doctors would be an easy start, but there’s only so many time you can do that in the same surgery without getting a ban, which is what would make the challenge interesting. My immediate thoughts are then GUM clinics, life modelling, art installations, etc., but I would be willing to push the boundaries a bit for the good of the book and await your suggestions.
Initial ideas for working titles include “Do You Want To See My Cock?”, “Can I Show You Something?” and “Balls To The Wind”. I think we could probably find something better. I have also done a couple of sketches for the cover if you want to see them, (don’t worry they’re tastefully done).
I was thinking we could do this project as a charity tie-in, to raise money for testicular cancer, for example. I don’t have cancer, but am aware of the importance of raising attention for the cause.
So, all that’s left to say is Do You Want To See My Cock?
Duncan Webster
To whom it may concern,
I am writing to ask whether your company would be interested in an idea for a book which I had recently. The theme of the book would be similar to the challenge/travel adventures of authors like Dave Gorman. The idea came to me during a recent visit to the doctor’s in which I asked if I should take off my pants to show the doctor the rash on my leg. She asked if she could see without, I said yes, to which she said “In that case, no”. But doctors have to see anything you show them, and so my idea is to see how many people I can get to see my penis without getting arrested.
As I said, doctors would be an easy start, but there’s only so many time you can do that in the same surgery without getting a ban, which is what would make the challenge interesting. My immediate thoughts are then GUM clinics, life modelling, art installations, etc., but I would be willing to push the boundaries a bit for the good of the book and await your suggestions.
Initial ideas for working titles include “Do You Want To See My Cock?”, “Can I Show You Something?” and “Balls To The Wind”. I think we could probably find something better. I have also done a couple of sketches for the cover if you want to see them, (don’t worry they’re tastefully done).
I was thinking we could do this project as a charity tie-in, to raise money for testicular cancer, for example. I don’t have cancer, but am aware of the importance of raising attention for the cause.
So, all that’s left to say is Do You Want To See My Cock?
Duncan Webster
- Oct 7, 2006
- 3,327
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This is one of Arny's most underrated badass moments.
This is one of Arny's most underrated badass moments.
- Nov 10, 2003
- 5,129
- Moderator
- #17
- Nov 10, 2003
- 5,129
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- #19
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- Nov 10, 2003
- 5,129
- Moderator
- #20
