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You didn't recognize the BOY?

Don't even front like you put pants on, Logan Now, y'all - just shut up and watch a few minutes of this. http://youtu.be/FTEOpEGvcKA?t=1m I tried to make it start a minute in. I am Lucy Retardo today. Just skip to a minute in.

How does one beat The Sims 3?

Me! *raises hand*

Sorry. I lost my head. Jerkface.

Oh someone fuck me, right now.

Nice! Andrew, what's it like to be famous?

It makes me hungry.

I don't want to talk about it! *pouts*

Weeeeeeeeee.

But you're ALWAYS Brendan Fraser!!!

Brown it like a ... crown. it. Oh well.

I was your murdered neighbor and I came back to life and took this body that I'm now living in to play it. Also, thanks for killing me. I have a way cuter nose now.

You wait so that bubbles form, which is what'll make 'em fluffy. You need to start watching Alton Brown like Daddy did. He explains the scientific reasons behind why you're doing that seemingly pointless thing you decide not to do because you don't know WHY.

Troubles. You have them, Logan. Still heart you, tho.

The trick is that you need to not over-mix. Mix until you think, "shit, that's lumpy. that'll be a disaster." then stop. Wait a couple minutes. THEN pour onto your griddle. Promises.

I've been there several days in a row. To amuse Travis. Do YOU love him as much?!?

Okay, you get a few points for not asking me what a fucking hoagie is.

Yeah, you can definitely make a manly pile of good breakfast foods. Now. Tell Dave about what I can do with a skillet and steak, so he can shut his hoagie hole.

*kneels* Also, Logan says my steaks look good. SO THERE.