- Nov 10, 2003
- 5,129
- Moderator
- #1
Anti-jokes GO!
What did the blind, deaf, paraplegic boy get for Christmas?
Cancer
---
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
---
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
The police. Your entire family was killed in a car wreck.
---
How do you stop a clown from smiling?
Hit it with an axe.
---
How do you make a mime yell?
Throw a brick at his face.
---
I went to a garage sale and asked "How much for the garage?"
He replied, "No, you must be confused, I'm selling these household items."
---
Q: What did the blond do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She committed suicide because her husband left her that morning for another woman.
---
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: Try eating something she has cooked.
---
A police officer walks into a bar and sees a rabbi, a clown, and a firefighter sitting at the bar. He ignores them and gets drunk because he is an alcoholic, and avoids his wife.
---
Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men
coming in and out of your wife's house.' The otherman replies: 'Yes, she
has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.'
---
Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind abush, a rabbit leaps out
and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders
off.
---
So a guy walked into the bar and was taken to the hospital to treat his critical head injury, and died on the operating table.
---
A young Texan walks into a bar and orders a drink. "Got any ID?" asks the bartender. The Texan replies, "Yes, its right here."
---
(only some of these are mine)
What did the blind, deaf, paraplegic boy get for Christmas?
Cancer
---
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
---
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
The police. Your entire family was killed in a car wreck.
---
How do you stop a clown from smiling?
Hit it with an axe.
---
How do you make a mime yell?
Throw a brick at his face.
---
I went to a garage sale and asked "How much for the garage?"
He replied, "No, you must be confused, I'm selling these household items."
---
Q: What did the blond do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She committed suicide because her husband left her that morning for another woman.
---
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: Try eating something she has cooked.
---
A police officer walks into a bar and sees a rabbi, a clown, and a firefighter sitting at the bar. He ignores them and gets drunk because he is an alcoholic, and avoids his wife.
---
Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men
coming in and out of your wife's house.' The otherman replies: 'Yes, she
has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.'
---
Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind abush, a rabbit leaps out
and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders
off.
---
So a guy walked into the bar and was taken to the hospital to treat his critical head injury, and died on the operating table.
---
A young Texan walks into a bar and orders a drink. "Got any ID?" asks the bartender. The Texan replies, "Yes, its right here."
---
(only some of these are mine)
