Retarded Myspace Bulletins

[Joe]

Seriously guys, check this shit out. Keep in mind I've edited the spaces between the lines because they were about 10 times longer.

THERE WAS A BOY

WHO HAD A CRUSH ON A GURL

WHO WAS 14

BUT HE DIDNT NO WAT TO DO

SO HE SAID

SHOULD I TLK TO HER

OR

SHOULD I JUS KISS HER

BUT THEN HE DECIDED TO TLK TO HER

SO TTHEY TLKED

BOY-HII

GURL-HI

BOY-WAT R U DOIN

GURL-NUTTIN

BOY-DO U HAVE A BOYFRIEND

GURL-NO

BOY-DO U WANT ONE

GURL-HE HAS TO BE NICE AND SWEET AND NOT SHADY

BOY-DO U LIKE ME

GURL-NOT REALLY

BOY-OHH OK

GURL-R U MAD

BOY-NO

GURL-OK


THEN HE LEFT

AND WENT HOME

ADN FOUND A GUN IN HIS DADS DRAW

THEN BEFORE HE DIED HE SAID

"GOD LET ME DIE FAST AND EASY"

THEN HE HEARD A VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE GOD

GOD-DONT DO IT IT IS NOT WORTH IT

BOY-YES IT IS SHE DONT LOVE ME

GOD-YES SHE DOES

BOY DROPS THE GUN AND SAYS

"HOW DO U NO"

GOD-BECAUSE IM GOD

AND FADED AWAY

BUT THE BOY DID NOT BELIEVE IT

SO HE PICKED UP THE GUN AND

HEARD A VOICE AGAIN AND SAID

STOP LIENG TO ME AND SHOT THE GUN AT THE VOICE

BUT WEN HE LLOKED HE SAW THE GURL OF HIS DREAMS DEAD

HE HAD KILLED THE GURL
AND THE GURL HAD CAME TO HIS HOUSE TO TELL HIM THAT SHE WANTED TO GO OUT WIT HIM
AND HE SAID
HOW...HOW...HOW COU...COUL....COULD...I , baby im sorry
AND THEN HIS DAD CAME IN AND SAID "WAT HAPPENED"
AND THE BOY SAID
I...I...KILEED...HER
THEN THE BOY PICKED UP THE GUN AND KILLED HIMSELF

IF U LOVE SOME ONE SO MUCH THAT U WOULD DIE FOR THEM THEN REPOST THIS SAYING "HOW COULD I , baby im sorry" AND UR LOVE WILL CALL U OR TLK TO U ONLINE

Was that not hilariously bad? I laughed when he shot her.

 

[Logan]

Me: im a big fan of the god line
Me: all it needs is the lol at the end
Me: BOY DROPS THE GUN AND SAYS

"HOW DO U NO"

GOD-BECAUSE IM GOD
Me: see not super great
Me: BOY DROPS THE GUN AND SAYS

"HOW DO U NO"

GOD-BECAUSE IM GOD LOL
Joe: hahahaha
Me: there it is

 

[Tarvis]

LOL

 

[Joe]

How bout this one:

Jessica was sitting home alone on a satruday night.

Her boyfriend was suposed to come over and watch a scary movie with her.
Jessica was on Myspace looking at bulletins, when she noticed that her boyfriend had posted one. She looked at it "If you are hopelessley in love with the one that you are going out re-post this. If you see that your boyfriend//girlfriend has posted this about you, then re-post this if you truely love them back"

Jessica saw it, felt touched, then contiuned to look at other userprofiles.
A second later she recived a phone call.

Jessica-"hello?"
Voice-"hello Jessica"
Jessica"um..who is this..my parents are out right now..can i take a message..?"
Voice-"i know your home alone..and no thats fine..its you i want to talk to"
Jessica-"um okay..? Do i know you?"
Voice-"you could say that.."
Jessica-"Do you have a name?"
Voice-"yes"
Jessica-"umm..what is it..?"
Voice-"now why on earth would i want to tell you?"
Jessica-"because its kinda retarted talking to you if i don't know who the hell you are!"
Voice-"i know what you did at nicoles party.."
Jessica-"what?"
Voice-"thats what i thought jessica, calm down and listen to me..i only want to talk to you"
Jessica-"who are you?!"
Voice-"calm down"
Jessica-"what do you mean you 'know what i did'?"
Voice-"dont you have a boyfriend jessica?"
Jessica-"yes, his name is Jake"
Voice-"okay then, do you love Jake?"
Jessica-"yes, with all of my heart"
Voice-"oh really?"
Jessica-"yes!"

Jessica begins to worry what the person on the other line knows about her.
she goes to check out the window.
there are no lights on on her street.
there are no cars outside.
everything is dead silent.

Voice-"if you're so inlove with this 'jake' then why did i see you fooling around with James at Nicole's party you little whore?"
Jessica-"what?!!?"
Voice-"i saw you. you did almost everything with him. and you had a smile on your face when you did it"

Jessica thinks back to what she did at the party.
She could remember getting drunker then hell, and could only recall talking to James as he led her outside.

Jessica-"i was so trashed that night..i don't even remember what happend! All i know is that james took me outside to talk to me."
Voice-"yeah right you fucking slut! im going to slit your throat, don't you dare lie to me about what happend! i saw you, you didn't act so drunk when you sucked his dick!"
Jessica-"wha..."
Voice-"so what about jake huh?"
Jessica-"oh god...i did that..with...james..?"
Voice-"i asked about jake..so what about him..?"
Jessica-"leave me alone! this is weird! you call me up, tell me that you were basicaly stalking me..and tell me your going to kill me!"
Voice-"i promise to leave you alone..just tell me..what about jake?"
Jessica-"i dont fucking know! i love him..but i cheated on him when i was drunk! how do i explain that to someone?!"
Voice-"you don't love him..im outside your house..i saw you pass up the bulletin and not re-post like it said to do if you loved them back"
Jessica-"your outside my house...?"
Voice-"you should have re-posted jessica.."
Jessica-"its fucking myspace! its a stupid online thing and bulletins dont mean shit!"
Voice-"im going to kill you tonight you whore"

Jessica slams down the phone and begins running around to all the windows and doors and locks them.
she is out of breath and scared.
she's confused about jake and starts crying.

She gets another phone call.
she see's that its jake.
sobbing she answers.

Jessica-"Hello?"
Jake-"Jessica babe whats wrong?!"
Jessica-"alot. please just come over right now so i can explain"
Jake-"Are you sure thats what you want....."
Jessica-"of course its what i want! im freaked out and i need you!"
Jake-"okay then..i'll see you soon...."

The line goes dead.
Suddenley Jessicas not so sure that having Jake come over was such a great idea.
"Forget it, it was the right thing to do" she tells her self.

the doorbell rings.
jessica looks out and sees that it's only Jake standing there.

Sighing with relief, she stands back and opens the door.
She throws her arms around jake and wispers in his ear
"oh my god, im so sorry, i love you, im so scared!"
she feels a sharp pain in her stomach.
she looks down.
theres a knife in it.
she looks and jake is the one holding the knife.
jake-" gotcha bitch...you stupid slut..it was me on the phone the whole time!"
jessica-"why?"
jake-"i knew what you did at the party, the bulletin was a way of testing our love to see if i could trust you when you said you loved me"
jessica-"i do love you it was a mista.."


Jessicas words fade as she falls limp into jakes arms.
jake sets her down on the couch.
when her parents get home, jake plays it off as a murder from a random stranger and says he got there after it happened.
his sob story convinces the cops, and he's free to go.

To this day jake goes around killing girls and boys who cheat on their girl friends and boyfriends.

remember..posting bulletins is more of a serious matter then what people take it.

if you don't re-post this in the next 2 mins, jake will come and kill you tonight when you're on myspace.

re-post this under the title "who the fuck wrote this"
the more people you trick into readin..

 

[Logan]

lmao. even better than the first.

jake-" gotcha bitch...you stupid slut..it was me on the phone the whole time!"

<embed src="http://webpages.charter.net/rcook10/gotchab.wav" loop="false" autoplay="false" width="145" height="60"></embed>

 

[Tarvis]

I liked first one better

 

[Joe]

Here's one I made at home!

THERE WUNCE WUZ DIS 14 YR OLD BOY


AND HE LIKED DIZ TOTALY SW33T GRRL


AND SHE LIKKED HIM 2


SO DEY WENT OUT


AND THEY WER WALKIN HOM WUN DAY


WEN OUTT OF NOWERE


DIS HUEG LIGER


TOTALLY ATE THE GIRL


AND DEN LEFT


SO THA BOY WUZ ALL SAD


SO HE GOEZ HUNTIN FOR IT


AND HE GOEZ HOME 2 GET GUN


AND HE GOEZ IN FRONT DOOR


BUT DA LIGER IS RAPIN HIS MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AND DA LIGER SEYZ IM RAPIN YOUR MOM LOL!


SO DA BOY RUNS UP 2 TRY AN KIL IT


BUT THE BEAST SWIPS HIS PAW


AND THE BOYS HEAD IS TAKEN OFF IN 1 HIT

IF U DONT REPOAST THIS IN LIKE 4 MINS OR WHATTHEFUCKEVER A LIGER WILL FUCK U UP!!!! NOT THAT POASTIN THIS WILL SAVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-xoxo some retard

 

[Logan]

hahahahaha.

 

[Tarvis]

OMFG LIGERS ARE THE SUX

 

[Joe]

A LIGER IS GONNA FUCK U UP IN LIKE 4 MINS!!!!!!!

 

[SuperAfroBoy]

too much reading here.

 

[bigredfoot52]

this kinda shit is exactly why i protest myspace and facebook type things. although i might have to get a facebook for college soon....must...not...give...in....

 

[Don Francisco]

" BUT DA LIGER IS RAPIN HIS MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AND DA LIGER SEYZ IM RAPIN YOUR MOM LOL!"

Holy cow, that just made my day. Best quote I've seen in a while.

 

[Tarvis]

Well everyone got tons of votes now besides us, so we aren't anymore.

 

[Logan]

One day, Sarah was walking home from
school
when
her boyfriend drove by and honked at her
to
get
in. She got in his car and he drove her to
the
lake. Her boyfriend said he was going to
tell
her
something very important. Sarah could
have
sworn
he was going to propose. However, he
flicked her off, pushed her in the lake and
yelled, "I am
breaking up with you, you ugly bitch!!! I
hate you
and I think that maybe you should
just end
your damn life!
DUMB BITCH!!"
He laughed and drove off. It was
a
very cold day. Sarah climbed out of the
lake,
freezing
cold, and feeling the worst she had in her
entire
life. She got home went in a hot bath,
and slit
her wrists and died in the bathtub. Her
parents
yelled and screamed at her to get out
until
they
finally broke the door down. They saw no
body,
but
the entire bathroom was dripping with her
blood.
Her mom went insane and killed herself
three
days
later, her dad is in prison, accused of
murder.
Later
that week, Sarah's exboyfriend was taking
a
shower
when she came from the drain, rotting
and
bloody,
with a razor in her hand and
said
"Goodbye Jason."
She cut his throat before he could scream.

If you do not repost this with the title "1 scary way to breakup", you are a heartless
..............and Sarah will come to you in the
shower
from the drain, and will kill you the same
way
she
killed her boyfriend.

99.5%of ppl that broken this chain and died <--- lmfao.

You have 13 mintues

 

[Tarvis]

LOL. where the fuck does this shit come from. I'm not going to myspace ever, because it makes chain letters that cause mass murders.

 

[Logan]

yeah this is funny shit.

this might be the next q/a or tunak tunak thread.

 

[Tarvis]

OK I got some

Body: Add your name at the bottom and write why you're single and RE-post this, please.

1) Michael- Because I'm nice and girls don't go for the nice guys.
2) Sara- I'm ugly :-(
3) DeathStar - I hate people too much.
4) Stunner@- I'm not. But I may be soon.
5) Kelli~ Guys are stupid!
6) alycia~because guys dont like me??...i dunno u tell me
7) mike-because girls lik preps not heavy metalists!
8) Brittani~ Because my last boyfriend turned out to be married.<- LOL

 

[Logan]

man this is good stuff.

 

[Don Francisco]

"99.5%of ppl that broken this chain and died"

99.500012% of ppl that broken this chain and died :O