Retarded Myspace Bulletins

[Joe]

1000 posts lol!

 

[Tarvis]

^-^

 

[Don Francisco]

500 posts lolz.

 

[Joe]

Wtf is this??

Have 2 minutes to repost this! If you don't u will be single Until your 45 no joke!


...Put...


Ford (if you're taken by someone special)

Honda (if you want someone)(if you are single)

Nissan (if you're a ninja turtle)

Jeep (if you're confused)

Chevy (you just feel like giving up)

Acura (if your ex is a douche bag and you deserved way better)

Mustang (single and happy)

Something good will happen to you at 11:50

 

[Logan]

oh no!!! single till ur 45!11

 

[Joe]

45 year old virgin!!111 ohnoslolol

 

[SuperAfroBoy]

myspace skit on snl was funny.

 

[Joe]

******THE GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND TEST!!!!!!********

****************GRAB A PIECE OF****************

**************PAPER AND A PENCIL!!**************

*********************AND!*********************

**************NUMBER*IT 1 - 10!!!!!!**************

**************HERE'S THE TEST!!!!!!!**************



1. Pick your favorite color out of the following:

A. Red

B. Pink

C. Yellow

D. Green

E. Blue

F. Purple



2. Pick your favorite animal out of the following:

A. Cat

B. Dog

C. Fish

D. Snake

E. Parrot

F. Mouse



3. Pick your desired honeymoon spot:

A. Hawaii

B. New York

C. East Africa

D. Spain

E. Montana



4. Pick your favorite instrument:

A. Violin

B. Piano

C. Electric Guitar

D. Drums



5. Pick your favorite soft drink:

A. Dr. Pepper

B. Sprite

C. Coca Cola

D. Pepsi

E. Mountain Dew



6. Name A Person Of The Opposite Sex...

7. Name A Person Of The Same Sex...

8. The Time Now...

9. Your Age

10. You don't have to write it down, but make a WISH

...and then scroll down! (now go down, and you will see the answers!!!



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HERE ARE THE ANSWERS!

Question number ONE:

A. Red - Adventerous

B.. Pink - Fun

C. Yellow - Sweet

D. Green - Wacky

E. Blue - Romantic

F. Purple - Mysterious



Question number TWO:

A. Cat - Feminine

B. Dog - Loving

C. Fish - Boring

D. Snake - Boyish

E. Parrot - Annoying

F. Mouse - Brainy



Question number THREE:

A. Hawaii - Romantic

B. New York - Busy

C. East Africa - Curious

D. Spain - Mysterious

E. Montana - Country Girl/Boy



Question number FOUR:

A. Violin - Intellectual

B. Piano - Popular

C. Electric Guitar - Wacky

D. Drums - Wild



Question number FIVE:

A. Dr. Pepper - Popular

B. Sprite - Wacky

C. Coca Cola - Wild

D. Pepsi - Fun

E. Mountain Dew - Athletic



Question number SIX:

That person will have a crush on you after you

repost this!



Question number SEVEN:

That person will become your enemy if you don't

repost this!



Question number EIGHT:

How long you have to repost this!

(Ex: 5:15 = 5 minutes and 15 seconds)



Question number NINE:

How many months that you and the person in number 6 will go out! if you repost this



Question number TEN:

That will come true if you repost this in the amount

of time (question) number 8 says!

Congratulations!!!!

Repost this as "gf/bf test"

 

[Logan]

Congratulations!

Instead of spending time actually looking to better your personality and eventually get a girlfriend/boyfriend, you filled out this dumbass test!

 

[Joe]

Fuck your test

 

[Logan]

What a Kiss Means!?!?!
Body: *kiss on the belly-----"lets have sex"
*Kiss on the Forehead ----"Forever you will be mine"
*Kiss on the Ear ---"I'm horny"
*Kiss on the Cheek ---"We're friends"
*Kiss on the Hand ---"I adore you"
*Kiss on the Neck ---"We belong together"
*Kiss on the Shoulder ---"I want you"
*Kiss on the Lips ---"I love you" OR "I want you"
*Holding Hands ---"We can learn to love each other"
*A wink ---"Let's get it on"
*Slap on the Butt ---"That's mine"
*Playing with the Ear ---"I can't live without you"
*Holding on tight ---"Don't let go"
*Looking into each other's Eyes ---"Don't let go"
*Playing with Hair on Head ---"Tell me you love me"
*Arms around the Waist ---"I love you too much to let go"
*Laughing while Kissing ---"I am completley Comfortable with you"

--Advice--
*Dont ask for a kiss, take one.
*If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love (or strong like).

--Requirements--
*Post this again after reading!!



If you REALLY LIKE OR LOVE someone right now
and MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head
then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you tomorrow.
Repost this as
"What A Kiss Means



I didn't read this, but it looked like some hardcore dumbassery.

*Dont ask for a kiss, take one.

Sounds like the beginning of rape to me.

 

[Logan]

Joe: *If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love (or strong like).

Me: omfg
Me: strong like
Joe: i was thinking about how the person who wrote this was probably as smart as a gorilla
Me: hahahaha
Joe: doesn't mean i want to fuck a gorilla

 

[Joe]

New one! What is with these people's morbid obsession with people killing their girlfriends?

So on the news there was a girl
who submitted a tape and it was a phone conversation
between a girl and her boyfriend. This is how is
went:

Amber: Ronny, are you gonna come over
tomorrow to meet my mom? Like I said before, she really
wants to meet you.

Ronny: Of course, honey. I know how much this
means to you. When would you like me to come
over?

Amber: How about 6-ish? Hey Ronny, what's that
tapping sound?

Ronny: What?! I don't hear anything... You're
probably imagining things, sweetheart.

Amber: Quit joking around, Ronny!! Stop making
that noise. It's getting louder!

Ronny: I don't joke, you should know that by
now... I love you so much, and I would never lie to you...

Amber: It's starting to hurt my ears!!!!! How can you
NOT hear that?! Hold on, there's someone at the
door... I'll be right back! Don't miss me too much!

**She answers the door and sees Ronny**
**standing there, holding a knife and a phone**


Ronny: Hey, honey... I've missed you...

**He slaughtered Amber and when her parents**
**came at six the next day he killed them too.**

If you don't repost this bulletin in two hours, Amber
will crawl out from under your bed in your sleep
and murder you. The last thing you will see are her
rotting eyes and the phone...still in her hand and repost
this with the title "Why sex hurts girls'

 

[Patrick]

wtf did that have to do with sex.

 

[Joe]

Sex = knifey death?

 

[Tarvis]

lol virgins. the girl who wrote that needs to be stabbed.

 

[bayli]

came across this gem. <_<

girl- yeah, i had to go to the doctor.

boy- oh rele? y?

girl- oh nothin, annual shots, thats all.

boy- oh

girl- so wht did we do in math 2day?

boy- u didnt miss ne thing that great.......just lots of notes

girl- ok good

boy- yeah

girl- hey i have a question......

boy- ok, ask away

girl-........how much do u love me?

boy- u kno i love u more than anything

girl- yeah.....

boy- y did u ask?

girl-................>silence<..........

boy- is something wrong?

girl- no nothing at all

boy- good.
girl- ..............how much do u care about me?

boy- i would give u the world in a heartbeat if i could.

girl- u would?

boy- yeah.........of course i would >sounding worried< is there something wrong??

girl- no, everythings fine......

boy- are u sure?

girl- yeah.

boy- ok.......i hope so.

girl- ..............would u die for me?

boy- i would take a bullet for u anyday, hun

girl- rele?

boy- anyday. now seriously, is there something wrong???

girl- no im fine, ur fine, we're fine, everyones fine.

boy- ............ok

girl-......................well i have to go ill c u 2morrow at school.

boy- alright, bye. I LOVE YOU.

girl- yeah, i love u 2, bye.

THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL:

boy- hey, have u seen my g/f 2day?

friend- no

boy- oh.

friend- she wasnt here yesterday either.

boy- i know, she was acting all wierd on the phone last nite.

friend- well dude u kno how gurls are sumtimes

boy- yeah........but not her.

friend- idk wht else 2 say, man.

boy- k well i gotta get 2 english, ill c ya after school.

friend- yeah i gotta get to science, ttyl.

THAT NIGHT:

-ring-
-ring-
-ring-
-ring-
girl- hello?

boy- hey

girl- oh, hi.

boy- y weren't u at school 2day?

girl- uh.......i had another doctor appointment.

boy- are u sick?

girl- ..................um i have 2 go, my mom's callin on my other line.

boy- ill wait.

girl- it may take a while, ill call u later.

boy-........alright, i love u hun.

very long pause<


girl- (with tear in her eye) look, i think we should break up.

boy- what???

girl- its the best thing for us right now.

boy- y????

girl- i love u.
click<


THE GIRL DOESNT COME TO SCHOOL FOR 3 MORE WEEKS, AND DOESNT ANSWER HER PHONE.

boy- hey dude

friend- hey

boy- whats up

friend- nothin, hey have u talked 2 ur ex lately?

boy- no

friend- so u didnt hear?

boy- hear what?

friend- um idk if i should be the one to tell u......

boy- dude, wtf tell me

friend- uh....call this number....433-555-3468

boy- ok............

BOY CALLS NUMBER AFTER SCHOOL

-ring-
-ring-
-ring-
voice- hello, suppam county hospital, this is nurse beckam.

boy- uh.......i must have the wrong number, im looking for my friend.

voice- what is her name, sir?
(boy gives info)

voice- yes, this is the right number, she is one of our patients here.

boy- rele? y? what happened??? how is she???

voice- her room number is ..646, in building A, suite 3.

boy- WHT HAPPENED??!!!!

voice- plz come by sir and you can see her, goodbye.

boy- WAIT! NO!
*dial tone*

BOY GOES TO HOSPITAL, AND TO ROOM ..646, BUILDING A, SUITE 3. GIRL IS LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED.

boy- omg are u ok??

girl- ..................

boy- sweetie!! talk to me!!

girl- i..........

boy- u what?? U WHAT???

girl- i have cancer and im on life support

boy- .....................>breaks into tears<......................

girl- they're taking me off 2night

boy- y??

girl- i wanted 2 tell u but i couldnt

boy- y didnt u tell me????

girl- i didnt want 2 hurt u.

boy- u could never hurt me

girl- i just wanted 2 c if u felt bout me as the same i felt bout u.

boy- ?

girl- i love u more than anything, i would give u the world in a heartbeat. i would die for you and take a bullet for you.

boy- ...........

girl- dont be sad, i love u n ill always be here w/u

boy- then y'd u break up w/me?

nurse- young man, visiting hours are over.

BOY LEAVES, GIRL IS TAKEN OFF LIFE SUPPORT, AND DIES.

but wht the boy didn't kno is that the girl only asked him those questions so she could hear him say it one last time, and she only broke up w/him because she knew she only had 3 more weeks to live, and thought it would cause him less pain and give him time to get over her before she died.

NEXT DAY

the boy is found dead with a gun in his hand..with a note in the other...
THE NOTE SAID:i told her i would take a bullet for her....just like she said she would die for me...


re-post his within 10 minutes or else the one you love will die
"if ur in love read this

 

[Joe]

lolz i have cancer.

 

[Joe]

HERE'S ONE!

Why do we sleep in church but...when when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?

Why is it so hard to talk about God but so easy to talk about sex?

Why are we so bored to look at a Christian magazine..but so easy to read a playboy magazine?..

Why is it so easy to ignore a Godly myspace messages...yet we repost the nasty ones?

Why are churches getting smaller...but bars and clubs are growing??....

Think about it...are you going to repost this or ignore it because you think you'll get laughed at?

Just remember God is always watching you

IM GOD LOL

 

[Alicia]

You got that from my post didn't you?