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Calm your tits, I made you something:

Ya'lls just a big bag o' tricks.

Well excuse me fer livin'. You need to use some sort of rhetoric font, so I don't go answering questions to which you really don't want answers. Also, you read my blog because it's fucking hilarious, not because you're my sister. You're too damned mean to bore yourself just to make me...

That peacock rocks steady.

Okay, I like fried eggs.

It's the squoosh factor.

That Black Ops chick has the biggest chiclet caps on her bottom teeth I have ever seen. She can barely talk around them, and I am still seeing an afterimage from their glow.

Then we hang ourselves.

Oooh, I love a stickler. I just went back and found that Christly video Bayli posted. I've nearly lost the will to live, so if you don't hear from me again ... well - that's why.

Your child has good fashion sense. Also, I'm jealous - if I tried to give my 2-1/2 year old a puddle of ketchup, I wouldn't end up with an adorable kid neatly dipping french fries into it. I'd have a stain stick quest to complete.

<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i873.photobucket.com/albums/ab298/zedavia/1789543997_fc8e809bdc-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

Family album.

Would this work? <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/17025281@N00/1789543997/" title="Snotty-nosed cutester.jpg by Susan &amp; her 5d, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2268/1789543997_fc8e809bdc.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="Snotty-nosed cutester.jpg" /></a>

Ya rly. Look over the shoulder - his left, your right.

Actually, Siren that's just a random firefighter in the park running with a platter of raw hamburger. If you'll recall, it's the burger emergency from the first Sims story I wrote about Rachel Zoe.

I like that not only are you romantic, handlebar mustached and Asian, but you also devil your dirt.

I feel welcomed. Also sticky. I don't know who to blame for that.