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You'll all make fun of me! Meanwhile, I've decided that anyone who reads my blog needs a cool nickname, like people who like Insane Clown Posse. Who wants to be a Nicomo!

I'm not cool enough. Besides, I only play Sims because ... I can't say it.

I, sadly, know nothing about Mass Effect, except that if I was cool enough to play real games, I'd play it solely based on the name. Also, Pancham told me I should play it, and he knows everything. Literally.

I don't ... even know where to put this. But you guys are hilarious. I feel badly for anyone who gives my sister a hard time, because you'll all be right up their asses, posting insane Star Trek videos about fucking apple juice, threatening their livelihood through t-shirt sales, or just...

Why were there so many purple penguins. And why is this is fucking funny to me?

If we did it to him. You know, with his account.

Bad Romance really lends itself to a metal version. I quite liked it. Also: <img src="http://i873.photobucket.com/albums/ab298/zedavia/zombie.jpg"> How funny would Dad how found this?

"Hi, Mom." That. was terrifying. Who greets their mother on video dating? "No hamsters." Okay.

She did manage to get everything into the box, tape it up, address it properly, and take it to the post office (instead of say, the laundromat), so I'll guess that the retardation isn't completely fucking.

It was a completely liquified then refrigerated chocolate Easter Bunny, which arrived in a super hot box filled to the brim with toys for five-year-olds and sugary-ass candy I wouldn't feed to my toddlers (except for the Jelly Belly jellybeans, which they get for eating their vegetables).

How on earth can you identify my nondescript counter? And why aren't you more interested in the melted chunk?

You're pretty confused. Here, this won't help: <img src="http://i873.photobucket.com/albums/ab298/zedavia/100_5552-1-1.jpg">

Tim Curry was the smog monster from Fern Gully. I saw it about a billion times when I was a nanny. Not bad at all.

One of my co-worker's sisters worked at the Pentagon, so she shot out of the building like a fricking bullet when it got hit.

What's YOUR story?

That is the best fucking thing I've seen in about 6 months. If Obama had actually done that, I would ... blow Mark Zuckerberg. Trust me, that is saying A LOT. Here's the story. It's not hilarious, it's stupid. I was at work - I was a secretary at the time, for a large insurance claims...

Are you serious? It was so retarded.

Looks like that guy thinks it's a little early in their relationship for a tongue kiss with the snake. Ah well. They'll be on the same page one day. If he recovers from his paralysis.

Yeah, Casey - you can eat that hat, too. <img src="http://i873.photobucket.com/albums/ab298/zedavia/dealwit.gif">

I wanted to feed that fucking hat to her, it enraged me so.