International Castration Day!

[Logan]

 

[Casey]

Mom actually had Casey because she thought I wouldn't take care of her when she was dying. Someone should tell mom it's not looking good, still.

Oh no no no. That's not true. Daddy harped on mom until she agreed to have another baby. He wanted a boy, what he got was me. Pretty much the closest thing he could get.




But mom's still not getting taken care of...

 

[Barbs]

Our two versions do not actually conflict. The only reason mom finally relented was the fear that I would not be there when she was sick from all that cigarette smoking and box wine drinking.

 

[Casey]

Oh boy. Haha, what a fucked up life.


I'm pretty sure everyone told us a different version of every event that we've ever been told about.


Do you know how daddy lost his finger?

 

[Barbs]

He picked his nose and booger ate it.
Then, he stuck it in a fan and it was chopped off.
Finally, a model rocket engine blew up in his hand. His finger was found in a neighbor's yard.

 

[scrappy]

i need therapy because of this thread

 

[Barbs]

i need therapy because of this thread

Sounds about right.

 

[Casey]

He picked his nose and booger ate it.
Then, he stuck it in a fan and it was chopped off.
Finally, a model rocket engine blew up in his hand. His finger was found in a neighbor's yard.

Mike McSomethingorother seems to think he lost it in the service. I told him the real story and he didn't believe me. Said you told him the service story. I said that either he heard it wrong or someone told you the wrong story. Doesn't believe he could get into the service missing a finger.

 

[Barbs]

I have NEVER heard the losing it in the service story. To my recollection. I've done a lot of drugs. But yeah, the story I've heard from Daddy and the rest of the family is the model rocket engine thing.

 

[Casey]

I tried for about 15 minutes to convince Mike of the real story and he wasn't having it.

I don't even know if it's much of a story, but I have heard it in the past. Mom and dad loved to tell tall tales or exaggerate details to a story.

 

[Rums]

So, are you all related?

 

[Tarvis]

nope

 

[Barbs]

Just me and Casey. Although, I am having torrid affairs with most of the men here, but that's only because they like brunettes and breakfast foods.

 

[SuperAfroBoy]

I could eat breakfast foods all day, every day.

 

[Barbs]

I could eat breakfast foods all day, every day.

Me too. Fried potatoes, eggs, french toast, biscuits and gravy. More fried potatoes. Bacon.

 

[Logan]

I NEED SOME BISCUITS AND GRAVY!

 

[Barbs]

I NEED SOME BISCUITS AND GRAVY!

Come get 'em.

 

[Logan]

I dunno if that's an invitation for food or some sort of strange innuendo.

 

[Barbs]

I know, it totally occurred to me afterward that "biscuits and gravy" sounds like some sort of dirty euphemism! Oh well. It is.

 

[SuperAfroBoy]

Shut the door! I'm
unmasking the curtain!

The Always Amusing Euphemism Generator